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Month: August 2016

Rejection Does Not Define Us

Rejection Does Not Define Us

Rejection. What swirls through your mind when you hear that word? Do memories flood through you and put you right back to the very moments when you experienced it?  Wounds so deep and numerous tears, some still fairly close to the surface.

All of us have a need to belong, to feel loved, to know we are accepted. So when rejection strikes, it hurts far more than we know how to express.  We begin to doubt who we are, we doubt our worth, we allow the words and actions of others to control our thoughts about the value of our life.

For three years the words written by someone were what I let define me.

It was actually in a letter written to my husband and along with hurtful words written to him, they threw my name into the letter as well with phrases like, “Your wife just is not what we were expecting….” and “she is to quiet….not fit to be a Pastor’s wife.”

The rejection washed over me and all of my perceived notions came true in that instant. I could sense the rejection for awhile, but when I read the words in the letter everything was confirmed.

“No good…. you hold your husband back….how can God use you?  You are way to shy….how can you think you can be the wife of a Pastor?…..” all of these thoughts and more haunted me off and on for three agonizing years.

I allowed the words spilled out on that paper to define me, to devalue my worth, and to fill me with fear.  In order to protect my heart from that kind of hurt again, I built up walls that would be inpenetrable.

Can anyone relate?

Rejection is something all of us experience at one time or another. It is absolutely impossible to please everyone and make everyone like us!  All people pleasers who find this to be tragic news say “Aye!”  Yes, this recovering people pleaser right here is saying it with you!

Let me share a simple truth with you that the Lord is {still} teaching me: Our worth is not defined or based upon by the opinion of someone else.  We are valuable because God has made us that way! 

Listen to what Isaiah 43:4a says, “Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee

Friend, we are LOVED with a constant unfailing, consistent, unchanging love by our great God!

He has made each of us with a unique personality for a specific reason, some loud, some quiet, all incredibly valuable!  You-are-Loved

What should we do when the sting of rejection comes?

I love this quote from Lysa TerKeurst’s new book Uninvited.  She says, “Live from the abundant place that you are loved, and you won’t find yourself begging others for scraps of love.”

All of the love we will ever need can be found in the One true lover of our souls, Jesus Christ!  He longs to fill the need of ours to be loved and accepted.

Live in the knowledge of knowing you are always loved, no matter the rejection you have faced from others.  Oftentimes the rejections people hand out comes from a place of insecurity in their own heart. We all need love, we all need grace, we can all give these to others, and we can all find them in Jesus.

I really encourage you to look up Lysa Terkeurst’s new book, Uninvited.  It is so full of wisdom and encouragement!

Be Encouraged,

Wendy

 

Ps: If this post has been an encouragement to you please feel free to pass it along to others.

I asked for change and God changed Me!

I asked for change and God changed Me!

For quite sometime now my husband and I have been praying for God to do a work in our church.  We have asked Him to change our church in order for us as a body of believers to reflect more of Him. We have been on the front lines of battle fighting for different hearts and souls, asking the Lord to draw those who have strayed back to Him.  As we have prayed, do you know what has happened?

We have asked God to do a work in our church and He really began to change me.

Now this sounds wonderful, right? We read God’s Word, we pray, we attend church faithfully, we live for Him, and we ask the Lord to help us draw closer to Him. These are all things healthy Christians should be doing.

You know what though? It hurt. I didn’t like it. God has been at work in my own heart, chipping away at what is in my life that does not reflect Him and I did not enjoy how He was working on my heart.

Isn’t that just like how we humans are?  We ask for something….then when it begins to happen we find something to complain about.

“Lord, draw me closer to You!” we plead.  God begins to work and we say, “No, not like that!! This hurts way to much!”

This summer I have been slowly making my way through the book of Psalms and not long ago I read these different passages,

Psalm 145:17, “The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works” and 145:19, “He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.” 

As I read these verses my flesh reacted in a way I did not expect. The journey God and I have been on does not feel like He is righteous in all His ways and holy in all His works.  I have desires that have not been fulfilled, even though I am fearing Him! I wondered if He really was hearing my cry!

Instead of feeling like the beloved child of God that I am, I felt more like a rejected child kicked to the curb, and that my friends is exactly where the enemy wants us. He wants us to feel distanced from God because if the enemy can take an inch from us he will have plenty of room to take a mile!

Can I share a little nugget of truth with you?  God knows what we need to go through in order for our hearts to reflect more of Him.  He knows just the amount of pressure we need to be under, the exact circumstances to go through, the right amount of brokenness we must endure in order to sincerely reflect Him.

I found myself at a crossroads, I could either wallow in self pity or I could willingly let God work with a tender transformable heart. {Psalm 138:8, “The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me:”}  The choice really was mine.

Am I really willing to be who God wants me to be?  Am I truly willing to give up what only matters here on earth so that I can gain what really matters?

My husband and I continue to ask God to bring change to our church.  We ask Him to shake up His people so that they will awaken from their slumber.  We seek revival and ask Him to help us be the light in the community in which we live. His answers may look different to me than anticipated, but He is answering our prayers.

We have asked God to change our church, and I have found He is changing me.

 

Many Blessings,

Wendy

 

Ps: If this post has been an encouragement to you, please feel free to pass it on to others!