Browsed by
Month: May 2015

A Study in Proverbs 31:20-24

A Study in Proverbs 31:20-24

She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.  She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.  She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.  Proversb 31:20-24

 When I read these verses I think about how the virtuous woman had her priorities right.  She was a busy lady!  Not only taking care of her own home and family, but also looking out for the needs of others.  She must have been quite disciplined in order to keep her priorities in the right place.

It seems that it is so easy for our priorities to get all out whack at times.  We get up in the morning and begin our day and before we know it dinner time is upon us and we wonder where the time has gone.  Between school, work, dance, sports, music lessons, play dates, car pools, ministry, life has a way of getting so busy.  We come home exhausted, whip something quick up for dinner and then send everyone off to bed.  Where in the day do we find time to accomplish all that the Proverbs 31 woman did?

It starts with priorities.

We will always accomplish what we truly desire to accomplish.  When I decide to sit down and work on my blog or my books, I prioritize so that I am able to get it done.  I carve out a window of time to sit and write.  If I want to get my house clean, I push other things aside so that I am able to get that stubborn sticky spot off the stove and floor!! {What is that stuff anyway?!}

Friend, if we do not prioritize to spend time daily with God, it will not happen.  All the wishful thinking in the world will not get it done. If we make up our mind to get the house clean, but do not make time in our day to get it done, we will always find ourselves saying, “I’ll get to it tomorrow”.  If we long to raise our children well but do not prioritize to be consistent in training them, we will not do well in parenting.

Keeping our priorities straight can be so tricky, many times because we involve ourselves in so many other activities that we can easily lose our focus on what is truly important.  Are you like me and think, “Okay, I agree, I want to get my priorities straight, I yearn to be like the Proverbs 31 woman, but where in the world do I begin?”  My answer is simple, it all goes back to our relationship with God.  Having a right relationship with God is key to the rest of the decisions we make in life.  The Lord has said that if any of us lacks wisdom all we have to do is ask in faith, nothing wavering and He will give it liberally!! {James 1:5}

Christ wants to see us living a successful Christian life.  He is cheering us on to live the way He intended His children to live!  Victorious through HIM and what He has done for us!  Not slaves to a busy schedule that keeps us so bogged down and distracts us from Him.  No, our life and the decisions we make should drive us closer to Him.  If there is something that is keeping us so busy it keeps us away from His Word, Prayer, and/or church, that is the first thing that needs to go. At times, I don’t think we really understand just how important a close walk with Him is because if we did, oh man, how differently our lives would be!  We wouldn’t be finding ourselves trying to squeeze time with Him in, oh no, we would desire to linger in His presence longer.

The secret to being like the Proverbs 31 woman is this, keep close to Christ, strive to be like Him!  Follow His example!  This woman is simply a Christian woman who is living the normal Christian life and allowing her Lord to shine right through!

Update on my book

Update on my book

This morning I got up with the plan to head {all the way across the grass!!} over to our church.  I had just finished gelling my curls locks and was on the hunt for my flip flops when my phone buzzed with a new message.

Curious I picked it up and read….. it was from the publishing company I had sent my book to.

The one I had been waiting a month to hear back from.

My heart flipped and then sank.  Flipped and then sank again.

It was one of those moments where I thought, “I want to look and see what it says, but then again I don’t want to look and see what it says!!”

With one click of my finger the e-mail loaded and I skimmed through the message for the part I was really wanting to read.  Had they accepted my manuscript?

I didn’t have time to sit and read the whole thing so I wanted to get to the main point.

Taking a deep breath, I read their decision.

With another click I turned my phone off, held back my emotions, and headed to the church.

When I got home I sat down and took the time to read the entire e-mail which in fact was actually very encouraging.  They see the need for this book, but it isn’t ready for publishing.  So why the tears?

Well, immersing myself back into the writing of this book is not easy.  It causes emotions to surface and feelings to come back that have once been laid to rest.   I felt both encouraged and discouraged at the same time.  Such a female thing to feel 🙂

My husband held me tightly and shared with me he had already read the email and ordered the two books the publisher recommended.  He wants to see this dream of mine come to fruition and to not give up.

I prayed and pondered what had been written in that e-mail, and that’s when I noticed I had gotten another message.  One that had been sent by my original contact at the publishing company.

She extended encouragement and an offer to help me get my book exactly where it needs to be to get published.

Friends, God cares.  He sees, He knows, He understands.  That note was just what I needed.

This story is not an easy one to write nor was it ever a part of the story I envisioned for my life.  Yet, it is the story God perfectly ordained for my life.  I have a sincere desire to let the Lord use this story to bring glory to Him and help other women see there is HOPE and HEALING found in Christ alone.

By God’s grace this book will continue to be worked on, tweaked, and made ready to publish!  In my weakness I know His strength will shine through all for His glory!

Memorial Day

Memorial Day

In the fall of 1999 I was blessed to be able to travel with my Senior high school class all the way from the west coast to the east coast.  An early morning flight landed us mid-day in the heart of our nations capitol.

It was the trip of a life time.  Seeing History come alive was truly incredible!  I remember seeing Lincoln’s Memorial at night, it was beautiful!  I’ve never been the History buff my husband is, but that trip truly made history come alive!  Lincoln Memorial

Like most of us, my ancestors came across on a boat.  They came pursuing freedom and I am a direct recipient of their bravery.  Because of them, and God’s sovereignty, I enjoy the freedoms that living in America brings.

Seeing the tomb of the unknown solider, seeing the graveyard in Arlington, tomb after tomb after tomb, seeing different monuments and places dedicated to the brave men and women who sacrificed their life so that I, and you, could enjoy the freedoms we do.  It gets me right in the heart!  Every single time.  What a sacrifice!

God has truly blessed this nation.

I may never know why God chose me and my family to live and grow up in the greatest country on earth, but I am deeply thankful.  I am forever indebted to the men and women who have sacrificed life and limb on my behalf!  Freedom is not free, it comes at a price.

My freedoms in America were not free, nor was my salvation free.  It also came at a cost, but my Savior paid that price for me, just as soldiers who go to war pay the price for my freedoms.  I am forever grateful to my Savior, who was willing to pay the price so that I could truly know what freedom is!  So that I could truly be set free no matter where I call my earthly home!

On this Memorial Day I want to join the millions of other Americans who give a hearty “THANK YOU!” to those who have served our country through their military service.  My heart is filled with gratitude for your service!  At a time when our country’s flag, the national anthem, the very essence of what our country was founded on seems to be under attack, know this.  My family and I are thankful for you and the service you have done.  We are proud to be Americans, who hold our flag high, who proudly say “one nation under God” when we say the pledge.  We are thankful for you, our men and women in uniform, as you have fought and continue to fight to protect our nation!

Happy Memorial Day!

Memorial Day

Images Courtesy

A Study in Proverbs 31

A Study in Proverbs 31

” She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.  She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”  Proverbs 31:16-19

So, I am not a farmer.  I know absolutely nothing about fields and crops, where good ground is to plant a garden or even flowers for that matter!  I grew up in the city and I enjoyed my city life!  We lived about a half mile away from an interstate and the sound never bothered me.  The light from street lights didn’t keep me up at night and my neighbors lived fairly close.

My years growing up in a city of California are vastly different from where God has planted us now!  Right in the country, plenty of area to plant a garden….which I did grow last year and learned a valuable lesson….. if you plant cucumbers they will come!  And keep coming and take over your entire garden if they are allowed to!  Yikes! 🙂

So gardening is not my forte and as I read these verses I begin to think, “Um…. I’m not sure I can be like the lady of Proverbs 31 because I just don’t understand fields and dirt!”

Thank goodness that the lady of Proverbs 31 isn’t limited to just purchasing fields!  She can be business savvy, make profits on what she sells, and save money!  Let’s make this lesson as practical as can be!

I have not worked outside of the home since we had children so I do not bring in a paycheck for our family in any way.  It is very important to me though to be wise with the paycheck my husband brings home!

Lets all give three cheers for clearance racks!!  When our older two children were really small I would shop the clearance racks at Kohls and Target because goodness, I could outfit them in adorable clothes for pennies on the dollar!  Shopping a season or two in advance and storing those clothes until they were ready to wear them has saved us a bunch of money!  Shopping sales at the grocery store helps, and learning to bargain is tremendous!

My dad used to be the dickering king!  He was a natural born salesman and enjoyed the challenge of getting a price as low as he could in order to stretch a dollar.  He had a family of 7 to feed, so making money stretch was important!

We all can learn to be good stewards of the finances the Lord entrusts is with.  Learning to stretch a dollar is a great trick to learn and really allows you to save and also give!

The virtuous woman is not just business savvy but also a hard worker.  She is up working hard for the Lord and her family!  Not sleeping the day away, not slacking on priorities.  She is diligent to get done what needs to be done.  Let’s face it, there is nothing glamorous about cleaning a bathroom, even if it is your own! However, it is something that needs to be done!  Laundry, dishes, vacuuming and mopping, dusting, making beds, all of these things are both necessary and what helps keep a home running smoothly.  Our life was not meant to be lived on a couch or bent over an iphone.  He wants us to be busy diligently completing the tasks He has given us to do!

As we begin our day today, let’s be more like this lady of Proverbs 31!  Being wise stewards of God’s blessings, working hard, taking care of our health, and being diligent in what God has called us to do!

My little boy the graduate!

My little boy the graduate!

grad1The day they laid him in my arms was a day I will never forget!  He was 7lbs 6oz and I was in love with every little bit of him!  God had given us a little boy!

Yesterday, that little boy graduated from Kindergarten.  Be still my heart.

This little guy has been full of life and energy from the start!  He goes non-stop and then suddenly crashes and is out like a light!  He is the type that, if he is sleepy, he will wiggle and wriggle so he doesn’t fall asleep!  He never wants to miss a moment of what is going on!

As I think about the life ahead of our little man in the making, I am SO thankful for the strong and determined will that God gifted him with.

Oh sure, there are days that that will of his has me in tears, but I am SO thankful he has it because I bet he will need it especially down the road.

When I pray for this little guy, I praise God that he saw his need for a Savior!  Yes, this year, about a month ago, he accepted Christ as his Savior.  My husband and I pray daily for his spiritual growth and that God will protect him from ungodly influences.

This little guy is growing right on up right before our very eyes.  He will be 6 in just a few weeks time and as every older parents who has gone before me has already stated, I shouldn’t blink because if I do he will be 18!  Well, I’m just not ready for that!

How thankful I am for his life!  How thankful I am for his health!  How thankful I am that God saw past my fears of raising a boy and gave me one to raise!  A little boy who we pray will one day be a God-fearing man who always strives to live his life for Christ.

I’m not a perfect Mama and he’s not a perfect boy, but we have a perfect God who is perfecting a wonderful plan for this little mans life and I am honored that God has chosen me to get to be a part of it!

I love you little buddy and am SO thankful I get to call you my little boy! <3

I’m not a farmer but I can help with the harvest!

I’m not a farmer but I can help with the harvest!

Dinner had just been made.  Homemade taco salads, complete with the homemade tortilla bowl.. Oh yes I did!  Heavenly!

I got the kids plates ready and filled with food.  I sat down and had just began to fill my own salad bowl when the phone rang.

Typically we don’t answer the phone during dinner.  We are pretty selfish when it comes to dinner around the table with family.  However, we hadn’t yet prayed, hadn’t yet begun.  I had just literally sat down in my seat.

Because of the phone number, I answered.

A few weeks back we had something AMAZING happen in our Awana program.  One of our little Sparks accepted Christ as their Savior!  Absolutely incredible!  We as a family have actually been praying for this family’s salvation for over a year now.

The person on the phone was this child’s mom.

“Hey_____ how are you doing?” I answered.

The conversation took off from their and it went in a way I had never ever expected.

Let me preface this by saying, just Sunday evening my husband had preached a message on Grace, a new series he has just begun.  Anyway, one of the things he said was a challenge to all of us to pray that God would bring someone across our path this week to share Christ with.

Now, back to the phone call.

“Wendy”, she began, “I would like to talk with you and your husband.  You know my child came home a few weeks back and told us about getting saved.  Well, my child has been saying things, asking things that I just do not know the answer to!”

“Okay,” I replied, “What kind of things?”

“Well, my child came up to me last night and said, ‘Mom, I was laying in bed and I got scared.’ So I asked what caused the fear and my child asked, ‘Mom, I’m scared you may not go to Heaven.  Are you saved?’  Wendy, I didn’t know what she meant!  I don’t know what it means to be saved.”  She then proceeded to share with me about the different things she has done that make her believe she is saved.  All of which were common Catholic practices.  She had explained all of these things she has done to her child and her child simply replied, “Ya, but mom, are you saved?”

Whoa.

At that point this parent shared with me her desire for my husband and I to sit down with her entire family and explain salvation to them.  “Please, tell us about what it means to be saved and if we aren’t saved then please, help us get saved!!  We want to be saved!”

Friends, the fields are ripe.

John 4:35 states, “Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.field

This, this is what makes ministry worth it all.  Souls being saved!  Souls desiring to hear truth for the first time in their lives!  The moment they allow God to pull back the blinders from their eyes and reveal to them the truth of the Gospel!

So often we, those who claim to be Christians, fear sharing Christ with others.  We fear rejection, we withhold Christ from the ones who need to hear of salvation!

Charles Spurgeon stated, “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”

Though there will be some not interested in hearing about Christ, there are those who are craving to hear about Him and just don’t realize He is who they have been searching for!  The fields truly are ripe unto harvest, what are we doing to help harvest them?

Image courtesy

Study in Proverbs 31

Study in Proverbs 31

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. Proverbs 31:13-15

Have you ever known a woman who was diligent?  A woman that was a hard worker in her home?  Though I have not been privileged to know her my entire life, I have heard many stories of one of my husbands Grandmothers.  I met her after my husband and I began dating and she and her husband actually opened their home up to me to live until my husband and I got married.  I had a job at a day care near my {then to be} future husbands home in Michigan.  My family was from California and the commute seemed a bit far, don’t you think? 🙂

This Grandmother of his was so faithful, as was her husband.  They were up in years and yet their heart for serving others was what made a profound impact on my life!  Having raised a family of six children, this woman was diligent in raising her family up right.  She was always busy at home taking care of her house and her children.  They raised their children in church, family devotions happened every night no matter what was going on, they were taught to think of others, they were taught to work, give, and serve.  We need some more of those kinds of Mama’s now days!  Now, all of her children are grown and have raised families of their own.  Now, her children rise up and call her blessed!  The raising of her children had a profound impact on the life of my husband.  For it was because of his grandmother raising my husbands father up right, that my father in-law in turn raised his children up right.

These verses make me stop and wonder, are we being diligent in our work?  I’m not just talking about the dishes and laundry, although those things are important!  Are we being diligent in raising our children up in the fear of the Lord?  Are we diligent in putting Christ before them?  Are we diligent in hiding God’s Word in their heart? Are we giving them every opportunity to flourish and grow in their Christian walk?

In order to be the right kind of woman we ourselves need to be diligent in taking care of our own souls first.  Spending time with God daily is key to having a God-centered life and raising a godly family!  Many of us would claim to have a Christian home, but I wonder at times, do we call our home and family a “Christian home” simply because we claim to be Christian?  Is it only in word and not in deed?  Is their evidence in our daily lives of being a Christian?

These verses go beyond just the spiritual aspect of diligence though.  The virtuous woman is productive and prepared!  She is busy with her work!  She does not waste hours on the computer {or her phone}, she does not sit idle texting her day away.  She is interested in providing for her family!  She is interested in the well being of her family and others!

We have so many distractions in our lives today.  Everything from work to play, we schedule ourselves crazy!  Running from one activity to the next.  However, if we see that somewhere along our way our own spiritual walk or our family and home are suffering, we need to stop the scheduling and get our priorities back to where they belong.

Diligence in our work as women is so important.  Ecclesiastes 9:10 states, Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.” 

How are we doing ladies?  The thing I love about God’s Word, and even more specifically about this passage in Proverbs 31, is that it is both convicting and encouraging!  Goodness, I have so far to go in learning about being like this virtuous woman, therein lies the challenge.  However, with God nothing is impossible!  With God’s help we can work towards being like this Proverbs 31 woman!  With God at your side, you’ve got this friend!

Mama

Mama

She wakes up in the morning and almost like a robot heads straight for the coffee maker.  She pushes the “Start” button and the life juice begins to trickle into the pot.  She scans the room and begins to think about all the things that are on the agenda today.  “When did life get so busy”, she thinks.

As soon as their is enough to fill a mug, she pours her coffee into her cup and finds her place on the couch.  Opening up her Bible, she takes a sip of that wonderful miracle called coffee, and begins to read what God has for her that morning.

The house sits quietly still, it’s just her and God.  As the coffee begins to do its thing she feels more awake with every word she reads.  She has learned through the years, she cannot properly care for her children without first caring for her own soul.  She soaks in the truths of God’s Word, spends time in prayer, and begins to pour the breakfast cereal.  The children in their rooms have just been waiting for that sound, the sound of the cereal hitting the cereal bowls and they come bursting out of their rooms ready to start their day!

She pours the milk in the bowls of cereal, fills the cups with 1/4 water and 3/4 apple juice, and sets all of the bowls at their respective places.  Children already in their seats proclaiming their hunger!

After breakfast she scoots the kids off to their rooms to change their clothes and make their beds.  There is cereal under the table from the toddler not quite able to handle a spoon properly.  A blanket and pacifier in the living room.  Stuffed animals already on the couch.

Family Bible time and Scripture memory are done and the day is off to a great start.  Children playing, schooling being worked on, laundry in the washer and dishes in the dishwasher.  Hoping for a shower before noon would make the day perfect!

Throughout the day she works preparing meals, working through squabbles with children, she is pretty good at being a referee, folding laundry, training children, she does her best to point her children back to Jesus as often as she can.  Grocery shopping and running errands keep them scooting along.  Throughout her day the vacuum and a mop find their way into her hands, there always seems to be something sticky on the floor!

The day speeds on and before she knows it dinner is done and baths are given.  Evening is upon her and bedtime is approaching.

Snuggles and bedtime {tickles} and baby rocking all take place.  At the end of the day she is worn but thankful.  She is living her dream!

Tomorrow morning she will begin again and do it day after day after day.

She is blessed.  She is thankful.  God has taught her more about Himself today and He used her children to do so.  She was reminded of God’s grace and goodness, His faithfulness and patience.

One day her children will appreciate all that she does to care for them and raise them up in the way they should go.  She is not perfect, but she does her best and she loves what she gets to do!

God has given her a gift!

He has called her to be a Mama and there is nothing else she would rather be!

This is a glimpse into my life every day, maybe yours looks a tad different.  The point is, as a Mama, what a gift we have been given!  God has entrusted us with sweet treasures to raise up for Him.  When we are doing all we do for His glory, nothing is mundane.  Nothing is pointless.

Start your day filling your soul up with Christ so that you can properly give to and care for those God has entrusted into your care.  Mothering is a lot of work, harder than any of us probably imagined, but still, what a gift!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama!  You are doing a great job!

fambam

Study Through Proverbs 31

Study Through Proverbs 31

Proverbs 31:11-12,The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Trust.  If we could sit down this morning over a cup of coffee and discuss this simple yet powerful word, how do you think you would describe it?

My children are young and they are constantly asking me to define new words they hear.  Sometimes I have a difficult time coming up with definitions to words that I have always seemed to know and use often, but the curious minds of my children just want to know what they mean!  My sister and I have laughed on more than one occasion because of this very thing and our feeble attempts at trying to define these simple every day words!  I think I may need to stick one of those pocket Webster dictionaries in my purse to easily have on hand!

Trust is a word we all seem to be able to easily define. I do not have trust in the spider that I find crawling around!  In fact, I refuse to look away from such creepy crawly because I fear that as soon as I do he will attack and swallow me whole!  Even though his size and mine would make that absolutely impossible, I still have that fear! So I keep an ever watchful eye on him until my sweet hero (also known as my husband) comes along and smooshes him!

When it comes to my husband though, I have a lot of trust in him.  I trust that he can kill that spider and save the day!  I have trust in him to provide for our family, I trust that he will keep my secret things secret, I trust him to stay faithful to our vows.  I trust him with most everything!  But can he have a lot of trust in me?

Our verses today deal with our husband and our relationship to him.

Can the heart of my husband trust me?  Does he know that the decisions I make, I will make with him in mind? Can he trust that things he shares in private will stay private?  Can he trust that I will never speak ill of him to others?  Can he trust that I will daily lift him up in prayer? Can he trust that I will be wise with our finances?  Can he trust that I will be faithful to him?

Trust.  According to Websters online dictionary, trust can be defined as, “confidence placed in a person”

The virtuous woman lives her life in such a way that her husband has no need to doubt his trust in her.  He has confidence in her.  He does not have to worry about conversations she will have, decisions she will need to make when he is not present, he has confidence she will hold to the vows she made to him.

Read on!

“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

He trusts her because she has earned that trust.  She has shown him that she will only ever do him good!  She will not gossip about him, she will not be frivolous in her spending, she will not flirt with other men!  She will be faithful to God and in turn be faithful to him!  She will protect her marriage and her relationship with her husband.  She does not look for opportunities to share the hidden matters of his heart.

He trusts her.

We all know that trust is earned and can take a long time to gain.  Yet, in an instant it can vanish away.  All of the work we have done to earn the trust of another can be gone in a moment!

So now I ask us, are our husbands able to trust us?  Do our husbands know that we will only do them good?  Are we striving to be like this virtuous woman and only do him good and not evil?

In a world where so many marriages are in trouble it is of utmost importance to protect our marriages.  To only seek good for our husband, to keep the trust we have earned!  To strive for excellence in our marriages and to stay above reproach!

As long as God gives us breath, let us keep on striving to be like this godly example of a virtuous woman!  Be the rare ruby in this world full of false gems.

Five Years in Heaven

Five Years in Heaven

On this day five years ago, I was at the hospital.

My husband and I were alone, no visitors came to the hospital.  No prayers prayed with us by our Pastor or other church leaders in that hospital room, as we ventured down one of the most difficult paths we have ever been on.

Five years ago my labor was induced, but I was only five months pregnant.

We had just moved to a new town two weeks previously.  Our things were not even unpacked.  We had a new pastor, a new church family, and we had not yet had a chance to really get to know any of them yet.  A brand new chapter in our life that began with a trial I never thought would be mine.

There we were, in the hospital.  Tears streaming down our faces as I labored and eventually gave birth to our sweet little baby boy, born still.  precious feet

Five years ago I remember how God’s grace overwhelmed us. I remember all of those events like it was yesterday.  I remember the doctor saying, “The baby is out” and the moment those words slipped from his mouth, God’s peace engulfed my husband and I like never before.  His presence was nearly tangible!

Our tears dried, and all I could say as I was handed my sweet and precious baby boy was, “He is beautiful!  Look what God has made!”  Our Elioenai Matthew, our gift from God whose eyes would only ever behold our Savior.

That time we had with him was far to short compared to the lifetime I had dreamed with my baby boy.  Nothing can prepare a mother for going through a labor and delivery and instead of walking out a few days later with a sweet new born sleeping soundly, she instead only carries a box full of momentous.  A box containing blankets, jewelry, even photographs you never imagined would be yours.  The only pictures you will ever have of your baby born still.

Those months that followed were a journey where God taught me about His grace in ways I never thought I would learn.  God taught me about how He is worthy of my trust, even when my heart was in shambles.  He was so careful with my fragile heart, but He stretched my faith.  He walked with me through the shadow of death with my baby boy.

Oh the tears were numerous, there were even struggles with anger, battles with guilt, and learning to be content with silence when I asked, “Why, God?”, was not easy.

However, five years later, though I am still not able to talk about that time in our lives without tears stinging my cheeks, I can honestly say “God is always good!”  I can stand before you and declare {by God’s grace}, praise for our God, because He is so worthy!  My heart will probably always ache for that little boy, it will probably still be a long while before I can talk about that time without tears being shed.  But friend, please hear this.

Our circumstances should not determine how much or how little we praise God.  He is worthy of our praise, all of the time.  Whether everything seems right in our world or it all seems upside down.  Whether we can hold our children in our arms, or we long to kiss their cheeks in Heaven, He is still worthy of our praise.  He is still worthy of our love and devotion to Him.  He is worthy!  He understands the pain, He understands the ache, He even understands the struggle, and He is not untouched by our pain!

By God’s grace, while I am still here on earth, I will serve, and love, and work for Christ.

But I will also continue to ask Him to hug my baby boy I long to hold in my arms!  The little boy I long to listen to as he tells of the adventures he has had.  I will keep asking the Lord to tell my little boy I love him so much and how much I miss him.  I will cry and remember the pain, but I will also always remember and thank God for His grace.  His grace that truly is sufficient.

I am So thankful HE carries us!

This song was written by a friend of ours.  A song that shares through music, the words of our heart!